SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2!

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 – 1987, Lee Harry, USA

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In 1984, director Charles E. Sellier Jr. brought us the hilariously controversial Christmas slasher film Silent Night, Deadly Night, a widely loved holiday horror jem remembered today as one of the best Yuletide bloodbaths known to mankind. This film was sleazy, and somewhat disturbing, but also inarguably entertaining, and it delivered what fans of the genre were looking for in spades. So, what are we to expect from Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2, the direct sequel, released a mere three years later? How about a total piece of bullshit? Here we go, kids!

garb33Eric Freeman, you son of a bitch…

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is awful. I mean it, it’s JUST AWFUL. Truthfully, it’s a shame we even know about this movie. Silent Night Deadly Night 2 should have been forgotten instantly, thrown in the garbage, and never spoken of again. Unfortunately, that’s not what happened, and the movie was instead made relevant due to its now Youtube infamous “Garbage Day” sequence, known the world over as one of the 20th Century’s lowest points. Honestly, boys and girls, this fucking movie is disappointment incarnate.

THE PLOT~ Ricky, the little brother of the killer from the first film, is back, and big surprise! He’s criminally insane. As the movie starts, Ricky is confined to a mental institution, and almost the entire film is his therapy session, as he recounts the events of the first movie. Literally, the first 40 minutes of this film is almost nothing but rehased footage from the first movie, narrated by Ricky, which is absolutely unforgivable. After all that, Ricky tells us a little bit about what happened to him after the end of the first movie, which means that we finally get some new freaking footage. Thank goodness. It’s mostly just Ricky killing people while NOT dressed as Santa, which is exactly what you want out of a Christmas horror film, right? Finally, we’re brought back to present day, just in time to see Ricky escape from the mental institution and embark on his own Christmas killing spree, with a whopping ten minutes of movie left. It sucks, and then the movie is over, and you feel so, so very empty inside.

This one is shit. Complete shit, there’s no two ways about it. Firstly, 100% of what happens on screen in Silent Night, Deadly Night 2 can be sorted into one of two categories; first, there’s Category A: Horrible bullshit, and second, there’s Category B: Footage from the first film. There is no Category C. Literally, if what you’re watching doesn’t suck ass, that means it’s already been in a movie before this one. The recycling of footage is so over-the-top here that there’s even a scene in which Ricky and his girlfriend go to the movies… to see the original Silent Night Deadly Night!!! Aye Caramba. And no, it’s not post-modern, it’s fucking lazy. Secondly, what precious little original footage we get is crap anyway. The actor who plays Ricky (Eric Freeman) is just terrible, he delivers his lines with the naturalistic poise of “Macho Man” Randy Savage doing a Jack Nicholson impression. The only times that Silent Night Deadly Night Part 2 doesn’t suck out loud are when it’s funny on accident, but that can all be viewed on Youtube in time saving condensed format. Ordinarily, I’m against piracy in all its forms, but the people behind Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 can go straight to hell.

Plus, WHY, in the sequel to the best Killer Santa movie ever made, do we get a meager ten minutes of Killer Santa footage? Unless we count the footage rehashed from part one, which we don’t, nothing anyone gives a shit about happens in this movie until the very end, and 99% of Ricky’s rampage, meager as it is, is spent with him sauntering around in freaking street clothes. How could this mistake have been made?! That’s like if they made a sequel to E.T., and all it was was footage from the first movie, intercut with information about how helicopters are built. How could you not know what your audience wanted to see?!?!

Garbage day indeed, Eric Freeman.

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