Work keeps on being worked.

Posted on by
Reply

Alright, time for an update!

Production continues on issue number four; which I hope goes over well when it is eventually published on here. It’s going to be twice the length of a normal issue, which doesn’t really mean anything when issues are released page by page, but still. Meanwhile, issue 5 is written, and issue six is being written as I work on issue 4.

One thing worth mentioning is that I have a lot of references and homages in issue 2, being posted currently. Every issue actually has tons of that, but issue 2 more so than any other so far. If any stalwart young nerds out there think they can spot all my parodies, drop me a line and give it a try! Perhaps some kind of prize can be issued, if someone can actually find them all.

Here’s another good one!

Posted on by
Reply

Here’s another awesome scam sent my way thanks to our good friend リーボック ポンプフューリー! リーボック ポンプフューリー says:

“japan will help all of us by integrating a number of distinctive features and functions. It is a unvaluable item for all fan of japan.”

Wow, great point, リーボック ポンプフューリ! It truly is an unvaluable item, whatever item it is that you’re talking about.

And so, these are the comments we’re getting, mostly. Solid!

I’m gettin’ spammed.

Posted on by
Reply

Well, one area of my audience that I can certainly tell is growing is the online scam/automated spam/uncool type of robot demographic. I am daily getting my “to be approved” comment inbox jammed full of all manner of nonsense, some of which I delete outright, others I have decided to discuss here with you today. Here’s one message, left my our good friend NBA Jerseys Wholesale:

“This may be certainly funnily open-handed along with people just like you to give freely precisely what some individuals could possess offered being an e-book for making some money for on their own, certainly considering you could have attempted it in the event you considered required.”

So…. They wanna get me with some kind of E Book scam or something? What language could this have been before Google Translate mangled it into the painful mess it is today? Here’s another, this time from Cheap Jersey Wholesale (Another loyal reader, I’m sure):

““I think it’s just, player safety is the league’s concern,” said Suh. “You’ve got to only respect it and that’s one of the reasons I spoke to Sullivan as we walked into the halftime, and he understood where I was coming from. No hard feelings and same thing if he cut me so forth, so on, no hard feelings and go from there.””

Huh?!????!!?

I also get like, eighty of these a day that are just paragraph after paragraph of Asian writing. Who knows what kind of sales I’m missing out on, what with my total ignorance of any and all Asian languages.

Casting the Fantastic Crap movie (Still not a real movie)

Posted on by
Reply

For anyone who is keeping up with the most recent page updates, you’ve probably by now seen Captain Sexy, the antagonist for issue 2. Just to further help enrich the experience for you as you read through this issue, I thought I’d share with you the ideal actor to portray the Captain, if I were to ever make Fantastic Crap Comics into a feature film. If you’re familiar with his body of work, I think you’ll agree that he is THE man for the part.

BRIAN BLESSED AS………..

Actor And Adventurer Brian Blessed-1736236

 

CAPTAIN SEXY!

captain

So far, Blessed is the only actor I’ve expressed interest in that is still alive, which is great, since he’s also totally perfect for the role, to the point that I could not contain my enthusiasm were this to every actually happen. It would seriously make my day.

Casting the Fantastic Crap Movie that doesn’t exist

Posted on by
Reply

If I could make this into a feature film, and cast any actors I wish..

imgCharles Bronson3

CHARLES BRONSON
as…………………
Qwan

QWAN

Charles Bronson has retired from acting, as well as being alive, so in order to cast him I’d need the time machine from Bill and Ted. It would be worth it, however, because Charles Bronson is so, so cool. Also, fun fact; Qwan’s physical appearance is inspired by Bronson’s leathery, cowboy squint.

Available now, The Seesaw of Fate- Happy Cup number 1!

Posted on by
Reply

Also now available in our comics section is the first Seesaw of Fate comic. In this installment, Roger begins new employee orientation at his place of work, Happy Cup Coffee. Predictably, it’s a grueling and nightmarish experience.

The Seesaw of Fate is a separate ongoing series of short comics to be published on Fantasticcrapcomics.com. Due to it’s one page format production on each episode moves much faster, making it possible to publish it more frequently than larger issues. More short series like this might be introduced to the website down the line, so keep your eye open, or you can like us on Facebook and/or follow us on Twitter for updates.

Now online- Fantastic Crap! Comics issue number 1!

Posted on by
Reply

The first exciting issue of Fantastic Crap Comics is up now in our Comics section, go take a look!

Issue number one officially kicks off the ongoing adventures of Architeuthis Joe, private investigator, monster hunter, and all around American hero! Quiver in suspense as Joe grapples with menacing ghouls, blood crazed serial killers, treacherous politicians and other unsavory degenerates in page after page of nonstop thrills and chills.

In this issue: Joe and his loyal Sherpa Qwan are stalked across a Grecian island by a blood crazed, hulking cannibal. Hilarious mishaps and heartwarming chuckles ensue.

Fantastic Crap! Comics now up and running!

Posted on by
1

Welcome to the digital home of Fantastic Crap Comics. We’ll see more and more content of begin to filter in sporadically, so be sure to come back frequently and explore as things pop up. If you have any questions or comments, drop me a line, my E-mail address is around here some where. Full length issues spend a decent amount of time in production before they see release, so in between proper issues you can expect lots of one page short comics and such. Also, for those of you who demand a more invasive experience of their pop media, Fantastic Crap Comics can be found on twitter and Facebook as well!