{"id":2379,"date":"2015-03-05T07:20:47","date_gmt":"2015-03-05T07:20:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.fantasticcrapcomics.com\/?p=2379"},"modified":"2015-03-06T05:12:13","modified_gmt":"2015-03-06T05:12:13","slug":"godzilla-vs-megalon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.fantasticcrapcomics.com\/?p=2379","title":{"rendered":"Godzilla Vs. Megalon!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Godzilla VS Megalon<\/strong><\/a> ~ 1974, Jun Fukuda – Japan<\/p>\n

\"godzilla-vs-megalon-japanese-poster\"Even the poster is lame.<\/strong><\/p>\n

The trajectory of the Godzilla franchise has never been a straight line. Sometimes these movies are real home runs\u2026 Other times Jet Jaguar shows up. Now, I don\u2019t want to blame everything on Jet Jaguar, but 100% of the movies he shows up in suck. Anyway, moving on; one year after Godzilla VS. Gigan<\/em><\/strong><\/a>, we have Godzilla VS Megalon<\/em>, another kinda sorta almost recycled Godzilla film, which is still much better than the full on totally definitely recycled Godzilla films we often see. This time, the aliens who use a monster to destroy us aren\u2019t aliens, they\u2019re humans, from the Earth\u2019s core\u2026 So, kinda sorta new, but not really. This movie is pretty mediocre, and that\u2019s probably being generous…<\/p>\n

\u00a0\"Godzilla-Vs-Megalon-Poster\"THAT’S a poster.<\/strong><\/p>\n

THE PLOT~<\/strong> The people of Earth have begun conducting all their nuclear bomb tests underground. They think this is totally no big deal, but unbeknownst to them, all these subterranean H-Bombs are really pissing off the people of Seatopia, a lost, Atlantis style civilization, which exists beneath the Earth\u2019s crust. (Also, Seatopia looks like a \u201cAncient civilization\u201d themed Las Vegas casino, and their leader is an aging swinger in a toga.) Seatopia has had enough of this surface people bullshit, so they launch their defender, Megalon, which is basically a giant humanoid cockroach with drill hands that can spit fire bombs. \u201cThat outta take care of it,\u201d they think.<\/p>\n

Meanwhile, up on the surface, we have our three human characters, Goro (Apparently before growing a pony tail and two extra arms) his constantly present, loyal, male companion Hiroshi (are these dudes a couple?) and their young child Rokuro, who they probably adopted together. When we meet these three, Goro and Hiroshi have brought Rokuro to a nearby lake for a nice afternoon of recreation, and Rokuro is out on the lake piloting what can only be called some sort of Aquatic Goof-Mobile.<\/p>\n

\"gvmboat\"<\/p>\n

Just then, a fissure opens in the lake bed, creating a whirling maelstrom of danger and death. Perhaps this was caused by Seatopia, the subterranean bomb tests, or perhaps the lake was just tired of something so stupid looking as Rokuro’s Goof-Mobile splashing about on it’s surface and chose to commit suicide. Regardless, just when it looks like his goose is cooked, Rokuro is saved by Goro and Hiroshi, who employ the use of a Liferope Gun that they had with them. LIFEROPE GUN!?<\/strong> What kind of technology is Japan holding out on us? They gave us Playstation, but not the Liferope Gun? Bizarre. Not only that, but check it out, Hiroshi and Goro have also built a humanoid robot called Jet Jaguar, presumably for sexual purposes. Jet Jaguar attracts the attention of some secret agents from Seatopia who are concerned that the robot might thwart their Megalon related plans. They must not know that Jet Jaguar is totally lame. Anyway, there are some twists, some turns, Jet Jaguar is highjacked by these spies briefly, but then escapes their control and somehow gains sentience. He then zooms off to Monster Island to ask Godzilla for help clobbering Megalon, and Godzilla happily agrees because by this point he has completely turned the corner from menace to hero. Anticipating Godzilla\u2019s involvement, Seatopia sends for Gigan\u2019s help, because they apparently work with whatever cosmic temp agency manages him, but they couldn\u2019t afford Ghidorah. Jet Jaguar grows to kaiju size (he can do that, I guess), and the four players beat the shit out of each other for the rest of the movie. It\u2019s not that awesome…<\/p>\n

Monster role call!<\/strong><\/p>\n